Chapter 17 The End July 3, 2008

Few days later, Isha also joined Sinha Sir’s tuition classes. It was terrible for me. He was surely going to ruin the student’s career for his own sake. Finally, I thought to talk to Palak about this.

“Howz tuition going on?”, I asked Palak. Since she used to sit alone, I was on her bench for a while.

“Fine.”, she replied. She was busy in writing something.

“Hey, I’ve got to talk something to you.”

“About what?”

“Yaar….about your tuitions. I am really concerned.”

She dropped her pen and looked towards me.

“See, I don’t want to discuss anything. I know you don’t like Sinha Sir, but thats your problem. He really is a good teacher…”, she said in a strict tone.

“Ohkk…”, I sighed and left.

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4 MONTHS LATER

2nd Terminal Exam results were out. I got 39 in mathematics. This time A3 copies were checked by Sinha Sir and A2 copies by Rao Sir. I didn’t really care about it. My studies were going good and I thought the teachers are just trying to depress me by giving low marks.

This time both Rao and Sinha sir ‘duo’ insulted me. Moreover, they started telling my ‘example’ to all the junior sections of 10th and 11th classes. I was more popular than Osama bin Laden in school. The ‘duo’ didn’t miss any single opportunity to harass me.

May be they were absolutely right at their positions, but still I felt humiliated. Why every bad thing happening to me in my last year of school life!

I started a topic “How Sinha troubled me!” in my school community on orkut and outbursted my rage in it. I wrote everything I knew about him. If he can insult me in front of whole school, I will also do that!

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DID I PROPOSE?

It was library period and I was on the way when I realised I’ve forgotten my library card in the classroom. I returned back to the class and saw Palak sitting alone on her bench and studying.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Don’t wanna go library?”, I asked while taking out my card from my bag.

“No yaar……just fed up. Don’t want to go there.”

“Ohh….okays, happy studying.”, I said and started to leave.

“No no…I am not studying at all. Hey, stay here naa.”, she said. My eyes went brighter.

“Ohk..”, I said and as usual reached her place.

There was no one else in the classroom. Moreover, Palak’s mood seemed to be good. So it was an ideal time to propose her. I took my courage and decided to open my mouth.

“Hey, I was wondering….”

“What?”, she interrupted before I could say something.

“Let me say naa……I was wondering, in these two years, we’ve got very close to each other.”, Oops…I couldn’t believe I said that.

She remained silent, but raised her eyebrow.

“And you know….I think…well…..I have started to like you.”

“Wait wait…..you were going to library naa…”, she said and started laughing. I hate girls when they tease.

I was already very depressed to say something. She continued laughing and I left.

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I couldn’t sleep that night. She knew I was going to propose her otherwise she wouldn’t have asked me to leave. Was she avoiding the situation? Or she just wanted to make some fun of me? Whatever it may be, I’d lost one more wonderful chance and again left with a dead-end.

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AGAIN A SHOCK!

Akshat and I were sitting on a park near Char Imli Lake cursing each-other’s fate. We both were seriously depressed about our studies and had decided to take a break in this park. We were just talking about random topics when gradually, the discussion shifted towards Sinha Sir’s tuition classes.

“Did you write something about Sinha Sir on internet?”, he asked.

I was shocked to hear that. Since orkut was recently introduced that time, and there were very few people on it, I wasn’t expecting my writings reach people’s ear such an early.

“How come you know that?”, I cross questioned. I was worried.

“They were talking about it yesterday on tuition.”

“Who?”

“Arrey….Isha, Palak and all yaar.”

One more shock. I think I am best in absorbing shocks. Therfore, they come so frequently. So Palak also knows about it! I begged Akshat to tell me everything that happened on his tuition yesterday and finally he told me all.

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SINHA SIR’S TUITION
(As told to me by Akshat)

#Palak, Isha, Akshat and one more boy, Vinod were sitting with Sinha Sir.

ISHA: What else he had written sir?

SIR: That I am a politician more than a teacher.

ISHA: Thats so sick of him.

PALAK: Yeh, how mean!

SIR: Isha told me that he proposed you?

PALAK: The idiot was about to when I stopped him.

(Everyone started to laugh.)

ISHA: But sir, this is not done. I’ll make him know the consequences of what he did.

SIR: Oh comeon…..just concentrate on your studies.

PALAK: You are right sir. Isha….I’ll never talk to him again.

ISHA: Certainly.

SIR: No….he’s your friend. What excuse you’ll give him if he asks why aren’t you talking to him?

ISHA: Same reason sir. He has written rubbish about you. He insulted you.

SIR: I guess, spoiling relations will affect your studies too. Don’t make him realise you know all about his character. As your studies and exams get over, make the things clear with him then.

PALAK: So you are saying we’ll not make him know that we don’t like or need him anymore.

SIR: Yes.

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THE BROKEN HEART

I felt like a bomb blasted in my ear. I was ditched. I returned home. After so many years, I cried and cried. People are faithless. Still I trusted them. I had always loved her, but may be my love wasn’t enough to build a relationship. My mind had stopped working.

I decided that I won’t see her face ever again! But that’s not possible. She’s in my school, in my class. Ok….I won’t talk to her ever again. Never! I swear!

And I sticked to my commitment. I had stopped visiting her place, crossing her way. I had stopped talking to her. Initially, she got surprised by my behavior. But later on she accepted it.

I prayed to God that whatever Akshat told me is wrong and one day Palak would come to me and ask me the reason for my ignorance. But, she never came. Afterwards, she also started avoiding me.

I couldn’t say I didn’t care. Everyday we would go school and follow our hostilities. It burnt my heart.

Few months passed by and it was our FAREWELL ~ the last official meeting day. May be we would not see each other after this. I had decided that today I would talk to her. She was looking very beautiful today. Her ‘chotis’ were gone and her new hairstyle was pretty.

But I couldn’t. I got several opportunities, but I was too upset to initiate the talking. Moreover, my ‘fake ego’ was a hurdle. We clicked hundreds of group pics that day, but there was not a single pic containing me and her.

And finally, everything vanished. I hadn’t spoken a word to her since that day. My love lost. I was lost. That year, I couldn’t qualify IIT. Also, I got a serious medical problem and undergone a critical surgery.

I’d thought that she would call me and ask me about my health. But she didn’t.

*

Everything is over now. Still, I think of her everyday. Its hard to forget your first love. Its a very genuine experience. For a while, it seems every happiness and good things are meant only for you. Everyone in this world once gets this feeling in his or her life. But those who are able to behold it are the most fortunate people in the world!

So, here ends the ‘Chronicles of First Love’.

Also see the EPILOGUE.

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PS — I was very happy before writing this post.

PS — No more PSs this time.